A cynic might point out that this actually is something like how Christmas works. Good thing I’m not a cynic.
You better not talk
You better not squeal
You better pay up
‘Cause this is the deal:
Santa Claus is shaking you down
He tells you that toys
Don’t pay for themselves
While over your shoulders
Stand two burly elves
Santa Claus is shaking you down
He sounds all buddy-buddy
He calls you by your name
If something happened to your house
He says that would be a shame
“Now don’t make me leave
A lump of cold lead.”
“Don’t you mean coal?”
“You heard what I said.”
Santa Claus is shaking you down
(Previously.)