[Announcer voice.] In a world without gifts [percussion hit] one man… sees red.
Get ready to shout
Get ready to cry
Get ready to pout
I’m telling you why:
Santa Starts is coming to screens
The studio said,
“What can we reboot
Whose IP is free?
Don’t want a lawsuit.”
Santa Starts is coming to screens
The mood is dark and gritty
His face has got a scar
His realistic backstory:
Oscar gold and a hard R
They think they can get
A sequel or two
Before re-rebooting
With somebody new
Santa Starts is coming to screens
(Previously.)